Sick on a Sunday

Procreation Avoidance Timeline

Posted in Conspiracy Theories by jamiemarie on June 22, 2009

I don’t want kids.  The following information will allow me to guiltlessly tell my parents to not expect grandchildren from me.

 “The human brain starts declining after the age of 30 especially in women with each successive pregnancy.”

tux

I have inadvertently set myself for the perfect way out of procreation.  I’m going to share this information with the rest of the childless world.

First of all, I can’t have illegitimate children, so I’m going to have to get married and be sure this whole husband thing is stable first. 

But before that, what about my hopes and dreams?  I have to finish graduate school first.  I don’t expect to be done until about 2012.  Age: 27.

After grad school, I can start thinking about marriage.  Let’s say a year of being engaged and planning the wedding.  Age: 28.

So now we’re married.  We need a home in which to raise our children.  This is going to require at least a year or two of saving and living together to make sure we’re stable enough for a family.  Age: 30.

TOO LATE.

Guess I’m just going to have to raise dogs.  Eff yeah.

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