Sick on a Sunday

The Trouble With Flautas

Posted in Random Rants by jamiemarie on April 20, 2010

On Saturday night, I probably had too many very, very strong margaritas.  But I wanted Mexican food, so I called the only Mexican food place I know that delivers.  Living in Southern California, my standards of Mexican food have become pretty high – and this particular place is sub-par, but I was drunk and they deliver.

In addition to the food itself, when you order Mexican food, you order what you order and maybe it comes with a side of rice and beans.  But it’s hardly ever a full meal, most things are generally “combos” or a la carte.  So when I order, say, tacos, I expect tacos.  That’s it.  Those were my expectations.

Instead, I called this place and ordered flautas.  Our conversation went something like this:

Me: “An order of flautas, please.”

Dude: “Refried or black beans.”  This obviously caught me off-guard.  I was not expecting a side dish.  I did not want a side dish.  If anything, I wanted more flautas.

Me: “Black.”

Dude: “What kind of salad dressing?”

This is what went on in my head: “FUCKING SALAD?! ARE YOU KIDDING? FUCK THAT, GIVE ME MORE FLAUTAS.”

This is what I said: “Salad?  Uhhh, ranch?” and then, mumbling, more to my friends in the room than to the guy on the phone, but of course I was still on the phone, “who orders salad from a Mexican place? I don’t want salad, I want more flautas.”  I may have dropped an f-bomb in there, but I’m pretty sure I waited until I was off the phone.

Dude: “Uh, so salad with ranch.”

Me: “Yes, thanks.”

[I keep italicizing “salad” to emphasize the disdain in my voice every time I said it.]

Once I was off the phone, I went into a full-blown, probably incoherent, rant about how ordering salad from a Mexican place was bullshit, especially if they were just going to serve me two fucking flautas.  I don’t want all this extra shit, I WANT MORE OF WHAT I ORDERED.  If I wanted a salad, (1) I wouldn’t be ordering Mexican food in the first place, and (2) I would have asked for it.  I don’t want to spend my money on a bunch of food I don’t want, but I’m happy if it’s going toward more flautas.  In this case, it wasn’t, so I was (rightfully, in my opinion) pissed.

Anyway, the rumor going around is that I yelled at this guy on the phone (and possibly the delivery guy), but aside from a few unintelligible mumblings, I waited until I was just addressing my friends before truly going off.  So yes, I possibly overreacted about the presence of salad with my flautas, but I hardly insulted any employees directly.

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2 Responses

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  1. hkcarpenter said, on May 2, 2010 at 6:05 am

    Um, so after all that, how were the the flautas? Were they any good or did they not show up?

    • sickonasunday said, on May 3, 2010 at 9:30 am

      They were quite tasty, just lacking in quantity. And I donated all that extra food to a few hungry friends.


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