Sick on a Sunday

How bad can a Bridal Shower really be?

Posted in Random Rants by jamiemarie on July 7, 2010

bridal shower invitationREALLY BAD.

A friend of mine is getting married in a few months.  To my friend’s credit, she’s been really cool about the whole wedding planning thing – only talks about it in passing or if you ask her. I recently received an invitation to her bridal shower, and apparently it has a theme.  Apparently that’s normal, but I had no idea.

Out of curiosity and a masochistic obsession with the Wedding Industrial Complex, I googled “bridal shower themes”.  Here are some of my favorites (for lack of a better word).


You can still have a shower, even if you’re part of the groom’s family! Host a shower in honor of the groom by inviting couples to a cowboy shower with a country theme. Farm clothes, overalls, blue jeans, cowboy hats, haybales for seats, drinks out of fruit jars, burlap tableclothes and food served in pie tins. Want to put him on the spot? Play the Newlywed Game, Groom’s version.

I’m a little confused about who this is addressed to.  The groom’s lonely, wedding-obsessed sister?  Sad that she has only brothers to plan for but desperately needs to get a life wants to plan a bridal shower?  This sounds like a bad frat party theme.  Will there be jello shots too?


We know, it sounds like a bachelor party, and it’s the opposite end of the spectrum from the Lingerie Shower. But if she’s a practical gal, practical gifts will be appreciated – and used. Try Renaissance Hardware, if there’s one around, but any big box store will have hundreds of items that will get used. Small hand tools – stay away from power tools; men are funny about those – sets of picture-hangers, boxes of assorted nails, nuts and bolts, wire cutters, whatever you find you use around your house. But make each gift attractive, in a bridal shower way, with silk bows and fancy paper. You’ll be surprised how much hardware will be appreciated.

Oh my, where to even start with this one?  First of all, they have it backward: the Lingerie Shower sounds much more like a bachelor party than a Hardware Shower.  The specific directions are ridiculous, “Put a pink bow on that hammer!”, “No power tools! Electricity is for boys!”  And what bride thinks, “I really want some nuts for my shower”?  Honey, you’ll have access to nuts 24/7 after you’re married.  To make this one particularly awesome is that the store they mention – “Renaissance Hardware” – is actually Restoration Hardware (and yes, it’s a nice store, but it’s more like a Pottery Barn).

Jack & Jill

This is one of the most popular and unique themes for couple’s showers.  Pick anything or anyplace that the couple loves and center the whole shower around an activity related to it! Is it rock climbing they love? Hold the party at a local indoor rock climbing spot and ask guests to bring climbing gear as gifts. If they have a penchant for water sports, arrange for group windsurfing lessons, kayaking or simply have a party on the sand.

Honestly, aside from the title, this doesn’t sound too bad.  Just sounds like a joint birthday party where the honorees receive knickknacks instead of booze.  This description just gets me with “If they have a penchant for water sports…” make the event R. Kelly themed?

On the other hand, some of these I can get behind.  Like the “Stock the Bar” or “Cookie” showers.  However, I find Saturday to be a perfectly acceptable excuse to call my friends and demand they bring me liquor and cookies.


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