Sick on a Sunday

Fake Threats

Posted in Random Rants by jamie on June 24, 2011

Empty threats I’ve made via gchat this week.

  1. … eat the Lannisters!
  2. I’m gonna watch a bunch of really fucked up stuff so it comes up on his [Netflix Instant] recommendations
  3. … so I can be a smug motherfucker and tell a publisher to download it so they can act like a grown up and unzip files on their own
  4. I want to spend a year doing the Crazypants Howard Hughes World Tour
  5. if I could have slaves, that’s what I’d make them do for me
  6. fuck society man, just rape it up!
  7. 12. Can I be drunk or heavily medicated while I operate the machinery?
  8. “omg we can go on killing rampages together, it’ll be so romantic!”

Empty threats other people have made via gchat:

  1. kill them, eat their hearts
  2. if I was there I’d tell the story about how I had to get stitches on the inside of my mouth maybe that would shut her up
  3. It’s time for New York to invade canada
  4. My sigil would be a pair of hairy flexing balls
  5. I wouldn’t take the risk of swimming with those things [whale sharks]
  6. I will kill them to protect the world
  7. I’m thinking of making a new OkCupid profile called “BeheadsU”
  8. and see if she’ll sign it “Mama horny, Michael”




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