Sick on a Sunday

Phallic Narcissism & the Sexting Craze

Posted in Random Rants by jamie on August 2, 2011

There’s no question that the internet has changed how we interact with each other. However, I’d go as far as saying it’s changed what we consider normal in our relationships. I’d even stretch this to technology in general.

Sensationalist news items about the teen sexting craze and online predators tell me that this sexxxxy exchange thing is relatively new! It was probably so easy for past presidents to carry on affairs on the DL. For example, expensively set-designed historical drama Boardwalk Empire features a woman with an infant she claims was fathered by Warren G. Harding, right in the middle of the Republican Primary. [SPOILER ALERT] Harding goes on to become POTUS. You know how they kept this pretty severe scandal (see: John Edwards) under wraps? They just shut up about it. And in another historical masterpiece, Titanic, when Leo wanted to see Kate’s tits, he asks, “Can I draw you?” Erotic drawing was the sexting of the 1920s.

But erotic drawing takes time! Shutting up takes self control and a lack of platform for your message. But now in 2011, Facebook, Twitter, the 24/7 news cycle, text messaging, and smart phones provide instant photographic gratification and basically infinite platforms for literally anyone’s message.

This is how some liberal groupie became famous for carrying on an illicit Facebook chat with Anthony Weiner. I sort of wondered why did she do it in the first place? Yes, power is sexy, but Facebook chat is not. So, why did he do it? What struck me when I first read it, was that she was trying to make the fact that he was a politician sexy. And he just wanted to talk about his dick.

Example 1:

Him: i hear liberal girls are very, uh, accommodating of others
Her: of course! it is all about taking care of the little guy!
Him: little?! ouch. you'd be surprised how big'

Example 2:

Her: I'm about to bang my friend cause ur not here..will call him anthony
Him: I hope he has a big c***
Her: huge…u are gonna have obe up him...get here
Him: you will gag on me before you c** with me in you

It goes on, it’s gross. Look how into it he gets as soon as his penis is brought up! Then he can’t stop talking about it.

With this except of this crazypants lady, most ladies I know aren’t into this kind of sexytime penis talk! But sometimes dudes insist on having these text conversations, via SMS or IM or email or whatever. If the dude is lucky, his girlfriend is willing to indulge him. If he’s not, then he’s probably paying $8.99 per minute to have someone indulge him.

It appears there are two willing parties here, so you’d think it’d be a two-way street, a sort of “I tell you about mine, you tell me about yours” conversation.

Instead, the conversations are so dick-centric. The dude talks about how hard is cock is, and it’s always worded like that, “hard cock,” and what he wants to do with it. And then he asks his ladyfriend if she likes it and how she likes it. Basically he talks about his dick and she responds to his dick. There is minimal talk from the ladyfriend about big her tits are, and no questions about what he’s going to do to them.

And here’s the thing: he’s getting off on it! He’s getting off on talking about his peen. He’s getting off on talking about a peen. This is starting to get borderline gay.

Maybe the conversation leans this way because it’s pretty obvious that dudes like boobs. Women know that they’re being constantly objectified and it’s rarely a turn on. On the other hand, isn’t it also obvious that straight women like penis? That’s why they have sex in the first place.

But you know what? Dicks aren’t pretty. They serve a functional purpose, not an aesthetic one. This is why most women aren’t huge fans of dick picks. The visual variations from dick to dick are not particularly worth caring about. The only person getting off on the dick pic sharing is the narcissistic owner of the dick in question.

In the end though, I guess if both parties are willing (one party more than the other, but willing nonetheless), and sharing penis pictures and describing your “hard cock” makes dudes happy and secure with themselves, go for it. Just don’t expect an equal level of enthusiasm from your lady.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: